- 1). Remember how you fell in love. After the initial flush of love and exploration of a new personality, both parties in the marriage can become very comfortable with each other. This is not always a bad thing, but can cause a married couple to become too lackadaisical with behaviors that the other spouse may have really adored in the beginning of the marriage. When these behaviors are ignored or relaxed, both sides begin to consistently give a more halfhearted effort, leading to a domino effect (an attitude of "if he doesn't bother anymore, why should I?".
- 2). Court each other again. These days it is more likely that your schedule will be filled with activities that do not involve each other. Making time for each other even if you have to schedule it will focus on bringing the importance of the relationship back to the marriage. Go out on a date!
- 3). Start putting your spouse first again. Do the little things that you have ignored for so long or that your spouse would want you to do (but wants it to be on your own accord). Whether it is a back or foot rub after a long day, or doing the dishes when you don’t usually do them, do something nice that is out of character. This will show you still care, and the more you do these unexpected things, the more likely the person will reciprocate.
- 4). Set up a surprise romantic night. Without your spouse knowing, get the kids to a babysitter or put them to sleep early. Have dinner ready (even if it means making reservations at restaurant). The more detail and effort you put into this night, the better.
- 5). Refresh your approach. This doesn’t mean to completely change your personality, but try not to be predictable all the time. Try to be spontaneous in good ways that will be appreciated by your spouse. When going to bed, for instance, try to change up your bedside manner and tailor your approach for the response and mood you are trying to convey. Don’t wait until your anniversary or special occasions to do something special--do it for no reason at all except to let your spouse know they are appreciated and adored.
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