It's been a long week, getting up at 5 to get to the office by 8, run the corporate merry-go-round and get off at 5 and you're walking through your front door at 6.
Monday through Friday this is your life, you're tired, you're a touch stressed and every day is the same as the day before.
Your relationship takes a hit now and then, but you always say you will make it up on the weekend.
Except on Saturday you're so beat from your work week you tend to sleep in.
By the time you stumble out of bed and get ready for your day you find there is a ton of things to do around the house.
Come that night you have some time for your partner, and you catch a dinner and a movie.
Your beat again, your partner wants to stay out a little longer but you are just not feeling it.
You tried and some weekends are better than others yet time and time again the same thing happens.
You're so tired from work that you just do not have it in your for a heavy weekend of making it up.
Yet this time you're able to get off early on Friday.
This is a perfect chance to have a nice long weekend off with your partner.
Monday is a holiday and you and your partner can really lite up the town if you want to.
It's just after lunch you race home and there is another car in the driveway.
A few minutes later you discover another person with your partner.
They are cheating and your left holding the bag.
In your head you have put a ton of time and effort into your relationship and this is what you get out of it? Why did you do this to me? People cheat for different reasons.
Many times these reasons seem very valid to the person that is doing the cheating, and very meaningless to the one that has been cheated on.
For women many are unsatisfied with their relationship, meaning: 1.
Emotion needs are not being met.
From the simple act of saying I love you, to opening the door for them as they enter the car.
2.
Sexual disconnect.
Values and attitudes about sex, when to have sex, how much sex no longer match up with their partner.
3.
You cheated on her, so she is going to cheat on your back.
Men's reasons for cheating are very similar to women, except they seem to have more of a basic idea of why.
1.
Performance issues with their current partner when it comes to sex 2.
Their partner is too needy 3.
Emotional needs are not being met Most men and women do not care about the possible consequences for cheating.
Most do not want to get caught, yet most do not care if they are caught.
Time to eat, digging into what you just read Emotional needs can range from hand holding to patting your partner on the back for something they have done.
Every person male or female has a range of emotional needs that must be met to keep them happy to some degree.
Understanding what their needs are and addressing them BEFORE it becomes an issue.
This is difficult for some to do, and just as difficult for some to identify even what they are.
Understanding what you want emotionally can go a very long way in explaining what you want to your partner.
Sexual disconnect is a touchy subject for some couples.
In some ways some couples attempt to avoid what they really want from sex and the emotions that come from it and just jump right into bed with each other.
Never once telling each other what they want or what they need from a physical relationship.
Meeting your partner's needs, paying attention to their wants has to be a bit of a balancing act by sharing what your wants and needs are as well.
You cheated on me now I am going to cheat on you.
This tends to stem from emotional needs that were never dealt with.
(See the top of this section.
) Regaining trust after someone has cheated is a different story.
One that depending on the people involved may happen quickly or never.
Rebuilding trust goes back to the core of the relationship.
If neither of you can speak about your issue, you will never be able to conquer this part of your relationship.
Your to needy and drove me away syndrome.
Many times this is just an excuse for one partner to cheat on another.
But there are times when it might seem valid.
Some people need more attention than others.
If you're not willing to show them that kind of attention then why are you in the relationship in the first place? Check Please Infidelity and why it might happen can be because of different reasons.
Motivations differ between genders, but still tend to boil down to the same points as above.
Revenge, sexual boredom, emotions are the common factors.
If this happens, and there has been an affair does that mean the relationship is over? Couples differ, reasons differ.
Identifying why someone cheated, then not only repairing the damage that was done from the affair but working on why the person cheated in the first place can be a very tough road for some couples.
The gender gap widens with this, as women who "love" their partners tend to be more willing to forgive a man that has cheated on them.
Yet a man tends to have a much harder time with this.
If forgiving and forgetting works, some go in that direction, while others and not forget no matter how hard they try to forgive.
They are left without many solutions to what happen, and the relationship tends to fold.
Do nice guys finish last? Jerks to angles, loud mouths to the most soft spoken can be effected by cheating or even wanting to cheat themselves.
It does not matter your age, skin color, economic income, education or social standing.
People cheat for their own reasons, and because it is their own reasons it is nearly impossible to identify why one does or does not cheat.
The "nice guy" idea might lead more nice people to get cheated on because it would appear that they would be more willing to put up with those types of events happening to them.
Being nice does not mean having to put up with someone doing that to you in a relationship.
It also does not mean that those people make easy targets for it to happen.
Every couple can be saved from these things happening to them.
Talking about their needs, evaluating their wants, and sharing their values and expectations with their partners.