Do you lay awake at night all consumed with the question how can I "save my marriage?" The information your about to read will guide you to the answers that prevent a divorce.
First, face the problems in your marriage.
Many common and over looked issues include: • Money trouble, spending issues, lack of trust to spend wisely and build for tomorrow.
• Parenting and child rearing conflicts and beliefs that go without respect as one may over rule the other.
• The lack of intimacy, sex and preferences.
• Lack of time together, commitment and communication.
• Loss of one's self as they feel lost in the marriage and family commitments.
While all of these are important there are many others that differ just as do people.
The key is to get down to the issues that are affecting you and keeping you up nights with worries of separation.
The Discovery 1.
You may find there is but one problem.
2.
You may just as easily identify several small things weighing heavy on the marriage.
Identifying the problem or problems is the first step.
Next you will move into the interaction phase.
This is a time when you come together and share openly your honest concerns and issues.
Interaction Phase You must prepare and commit to time consuming conversation.
You may need help in this area as lack of or lost communication is hard to regain, if you ever had it in the first place.
If saving your marriage is important to you, work on it every single day.
A good time is after the kids go to bed.
Get creative, meet for lunch while the kids are at school or get a baby sitter to do so.
You may find an activity you share is helpful like walking or biking after work.
Get to know each other again.
Time with your spouse is very important and the only way to reconnect and find a way to work things out.
Make time for "romantic moments" weekly.
A fun way and rewarding option is to reinvent "date night".
Pick a day, for instance, Wednesday or Friday, get a sitter and go out just the two of you.
It doesn't matter what you do just do something, take turns picking what you do and where you go.
This does not have to be a huge effort, simply coffee or a walk in the park, golfing or bowling anything.
The more time you spend together the more time you will have to discuss your problems.
Keep an open mind and listen to what your partner is telling you.
You have got to face that some of the problems are caused by - get this - you! No real progress or changes will come about until you really hear your partner out and take ownership for your part! You've got to have faith in your spouse, your partner, the person you fell in love with and married.
Give them the benefit of the doubt.
You must know that the marriage can and will work with effort on both your parts.
You have got to shake off the bad image you've built of your spouse and realize your partner is still essentially the same person you fell in love with.
If you cannot do this, you may as well give up and be done with it.
You will need to allow forgiveness.
Any mistakes - even big ones - you must be willing to forgive.
Without forgiveness there is no hope for your marriage, besides - really - is there nothing you need to be forgiven for as well? Everyone needs forgiveness at one point in time.
Good people can make big mistakes and bad things happen to good people, we are only human.
If you've been given a heartfelt and genuine apology - including acts and you see change - forgiveness is deserved.
First, face the problems in your marriage.
Many common and over looked issues include: • Money trouble, spending issues, lack of trust to spend wisely and build for tomorrow.
• Parenting and child rearing conflicts and beliefs that go without respect as one may over rule the other.
• The lack of intimacy, sex and preferences.
• Lack of time together, commitment and communication.
• Loss of one's self as they feel lost in the marriage and family commitments.
While all of these are important there are many others that differ just as do people.
The key is to get down to the issues that are affecting you and keeping you up nights with worries of separation.
The Discovery 1.
You may find there is but one problem.
2.
You may just as easily identify several small things weighing heavy on the marriage.
Identifying the problem or problems is the first step.
Next you will move into the interaction phase.
This is a time when you come together and share openly your honest concerns and issues.
Interaction Phase You must prepare and commit to time consuming conversation.
You may need help in this area as lack of or lost communication is hard to regain, if you ever had it in the first place.
If saving your marriage is important to you, work on it every single day.
A good time is after the kids go to bed.
Get creative, meet for lunch while the kids are at school or get a baby sitter to do so.
You may find an activity you share is helpful like walking or biking after work.
Get to know each other again.
Time with your spouse is very important and the only way to reconnect and find a way to work things out.
Make time for "romantic moments" weekly.
A fun way and rewarding option is to reinvent "date night".
Pick a day, for instance, Wednesday or Friday, get a sitter and go out just the two of you.
It doesn't matter what you do just do something, take turns picking what you do and where you go.
This does not have to be a huge effort, simply coffee or a walk in the park, golfing or bowling anything.
The more time you spend together the more time you will have to discuss your problems.
Keep an open mind and listen to what your partner is telling you.
You have got to face that some of the problems are caused by - get this - you! No real progress or changes will come about until you really hear your partner out and take ownership for your part! You've got to have faith in your spouse, your partner, the person you fell in love with and married.
Give them the benefit of the doubt.
You must know that the marriage can and will work with effort on both your parts.
You have got to shake off the bad image you've built of your spouse and realize your partner is still essentially the same person you fell in love with.
If you cannot do this, you may as well give up and be done with it.
You will need to allow forgiveness.
Any mistakes - even big ones - you must be willing to forgive.
Without forgiveness there is no hope for your marriage, besides - really - is there nothing you need to be forgiven for as well? Everyone needs forgiveness at one point in time.
Good people can make big mistakes and bad things happen to good people, we are only human.
If you've been given a heartfelt and genuine apology - including acts and you see change - forgiveness is deserved.