One of the edges I have got on most of you is, that as a psychotherapist I have done a lot of "conflict resolution".
I have had to learn to negotiate without rancour or guilt.
Trouble is, most of my partners haven't, and most of your partners won't have either.
There is a "boss" who can do what she likes, and a "good girl" who plays by the rules and keeps to the partnership system in most bridge partnerships (also most other types of partnerships, business and pleasure).
Either that, or both are just "existing" in the relationship, afraid of conflict, never discussing misunderstandings (except with others) and never likely to move forward.
This kind of bridge relationship will be STUCK.
There will be an imbalance of power, and the partnership will never stand up in the real world of tight, detailed bridge.
First question: Do you have a system card? A system card is not just for the opponents.
It is primarily for you.
And if you don't have one, you are not ready to play serious bridge.
If you and partner sit down together and write out a detailed card, you will be staggered at what you find partner is bidding thinking its your "shared" system.
I challenge you to do this.
It's also not fair to the opponents not to have a system card, as they have to ask you about your alerts and signals etc.
and that generally gives away clues about what they hold.
It is considered unethical to ask unless there is a need to know.
If you wish to improve and tighten up your game you should tell your partner.
It isn't a "given" to want to improve, even though you may think it is! You could wake up 3 years down the track to notice that nothing in your bridge has changed.
Most of your results are nearer the bottom than the top, and there is a growing feeling of dissatisfaction in a game well known to have extraordinarily expanded horizons.
If you bring it to partner you may find that she is enjoying having a regular outing, with no intention of it ever being anything more than that.
Thus if you have alternative aspirations you need to excuse yourself nicely from the partnership.
Any reasonable person will give you her blessing to move on, and if she doesn't, well find another partner anyway.
Now you can seek someone out who is looking to learn, and prepared to negotiate in order to do so.
Wonderful juicy interactions are an essential component of a bridge relationship if you wish to improve.
You need to be able to have a good bicker.
Go to it girls; it will be very rewarding, and you will never look back.
I have had to learn to negotiate without rancour or guilt.
Trouble is, most of my partners haven't, and most of your partners won't have either.
There is a "boss" who can do what she likes, and a "good girl" who plays by the rules and keeps to the partnership system in most bridge partnerships (also most other types of partnerships, business and pleasure).
Either that, or both are just "existing" in the relationship, afraid of conflict, never discussing misunderstandings (except with others) and never likely to move forward.
This kind of bridge relationship will be STUCK.
There will be an imbalance of power, and the partnership will never stand up in the real world of tight, detailed bridge.
First question: Do you have a system card? A system card is not just for the opponents.
It is primarily for you.
And if you don't have one, you are not ready to play serious bridge.
If you and partner sit down together and write out a detailed card, you will be staggered at what you find partner is bidding thinking its your "shared" system.
I challenge you to do this.
It's also not fair to the opponents not to have a system card, as they have to ask you about your alerts and signals etc.
and that generally gives away clues about what they hold.
It is considered unethical to ask unless there is a need to know.
If you wish to improve and tighten up your game you should tell your partner.
It isn't a "given" to want to improve, even though you may think it is! You could wake up 3 years down the track to notice that nothing in your bridge has changed.
Most of your results are nearer the bottom than the top, and there is a growing feeling of dissatisfaction in a game well known to have extraordinarily expanded horizons.
If you bring it to partner you may find that she is enjoying having a regular outing, with no intention of it ever being anything more than that.
Thus if you have alternative aspirations you need to excuse yourself nicely from the partnership.
Any reasonable person will give you her blessing to move on, and if she doesn't, well find another partner anyway.
Now you can seek someone out who is looking to learn, and prepared to negotiate in order to do so.
Wonderful juicy interactions are an essential component of a bridge relationship if you wish to improve.
You need to be able to have a good bicker.
Go to it girls; it will be very rewarding, and you will never look back.